What do you do when you walk into a crowded bar and you instantly spot a busy working girl so lusciously captivating that you feel obligated to act? This was the question crashing through my head last week.
I’ve been using my winter appropriately. Unlike last year when I braved the cold to do approaches (you can read a few of the things I’ve learned in my Central Park day game guide by signing up for my email list), I focused on accomplishing the lion’s share of my yearly goals this year, like I had in 2014. One of these projects has been Stumped, which will be ready for release in a few weeks!
I hope you did the same thing with your own winter.
But now spring has sprung and it’s time to start coming out to play. I hope you’re ready to up your game!
I attended a meetup with my New York network last week. There’s usually one of these a month. In attendance were guys like Goldmund, Kid Strangelove, and many others. We talked, as always, about a variety of topics. Many in attendance were looking forward to reading Stumped. There was also a lot of talk about going to Cleveland in July for the Republican National Convention.
Yet, as all of this talk went on, there was a conspicuous distraction. It came in the form of the bartender that night. Everyone, and I mean everyone, was staring at her. She was beautiful and she had the most impressive breasts I’ve seen in many months. I was posed the difficult question – how would I be able to make this approach? What do you do to get one in on a working girl at a crowded place where everyone else is thinking the same thing?
The first thing you should keep in mind is that here, as ever, most guys are pussies. They might proposition but they won’t approach with real strong game. I saw that one guy (not in our circle) had obviously bought the bartender a drink. They took a shot together, but she went right back to work.
There was an added difficulty. I was in a situation here that you may not find yourself in often – I was among an entire room full of experienced players. Thus, there was an increased risk that one of my own buddies would make the approach (and the right kind of approach) before I did! This may lead to confusion among you. Always remember this rule when out with friends – if your friend makes the approach first, you do not interfere. I don’t care how hot the girl is to you. No girl is worth tension with a friend.
Despite this, my own way was pretty clear. Given no one had yet to make a serious approach, I was ready to take the first opportunity. My greed threshold was simply through the roof. I was going to make that damn approach come hell or high water.
I started to warm the bartender up distantly by making flirtatious eye contact. I went to the bar to get a drink, making the same eye contact, saying a few inanities in a flirtatious voice tone, and leaning in slightly so as to get her to lean in to me.
Later on, as I was talking to a few friends and beginning to make concrete plans about going to Cleveland for the Republican National Convention, the bartender walked out. I almost felt bad for so brusquely leaving my buddies while we were putting the legwork together on such an important plan, but that’s the nature of the game. You have to do that sometimes. I certainly had to do it to talk to this beautiful bartender. I politely excused myself, saying I had to go talk to her. They all knew why. Your friends will also know.
As Goldmund, Kid Strangelove, and another of our friends were outside having a smoke, I spotted the bartender around the corner. There was zero approach anxiety. My greed threshold was simply too high. I simply approached direct, with high energy, and began to talk. It was a normal approach from there. There was no commotion. It might as well have just been me and this luscious, magnificent bartender.
I wish I could tell you the magic words, but there aren’t any. Approaching is more about confidence and the vibe you give off with your demeanor than anything else. This is why I’m generally better with approaching the women I find to be the most beautiful. Since my greed threshold is so high, I have no fear, hence my vibe is at its best. We talked. I teased, grabbed her arm and hand to look at her (non-obvious) tattoos, told her that she was a little naughty in response to her replies, and so on. A lot of what came out of my mouth was instinctual. A bit later, she had to go back to work. She gave me her number.
So how do you do the same with such a luscious working girl?
- This was a small bar which allowed for ease of going either inside or outside. I saw the opportunity when the bartender went outside. If you’re in such an environment, look for the same opportunity. You can probably do the same at a rooftop spot.
- If you’re in a larger environment that isn’t as conducive for this, you will have to be more inventive. If your girl is a hostess at the front or the like, you’ll have an easier time. If she’s a cocktail waitress or a bartender especially, you may need to play a longer, more indirect game throughout the night. One good ploy someone mentioned to me is to, at the end, write “ur cute ur #” on the bill that she’ll see. You may be a bit more ballsy earlier on if there’s a lull in the nearby activity. If so, you can tell her you’d like to order something, get her to lean in, and then pay the compliment and go high energy.
Although there are no specific magic words, there are ways of speaking that will increase your success with the women you approach. There are also mannerisms that will enhance your vibe, making it more captivating and charismatic. You can find out what they are and how to use them in Stumped: How Trump Triumphed.